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Author's Body Missing

Hello everyone, I just wanted to issue an urgent request. Currently, I am involved in a very important missing person case. It’s Krakken_Unleashed, I need to find him quickly so I can ki- SAVE him, ahem.

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Illustration for article titled Authors Body Missing

He was last seen being taken away from my by Protonstorm and taken into ‘protective custody’ as they attempted to ‘revive’ him after someone apparently ‘tried to kill’ him. These are all very technical terms, but what it boils down to is he has obviously been kidnapped by Protonstorm. Soooo I’m offering three harpoons to anyone that can procure me a Krakken in the next twenty-four hours, I’ll be waiting.

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Don’t disappoint me.

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